She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize