guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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