So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize