Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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