New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize