It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
