i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
