so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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