her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
did i just pee glitter
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
