what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
time to smoke my breakfast
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
