We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
