Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
