it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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