i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
