shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
