im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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