Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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