Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
