How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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