; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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