Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
