turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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