just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
