Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
