I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I need to sanitize my soul.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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