I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm too high and old for this...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
where are my eyebrows?
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