Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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