i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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