I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
