we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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