Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
