if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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