awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We need a shit load of segways right now
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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