My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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