his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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