We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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