Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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