I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
