i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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