Please, let me fuck your mom
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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