why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
