Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize