Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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