someone threw a dead crab at me
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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