Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
my being single is dangerous.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
