you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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