Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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