btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
