Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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