I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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