well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
