why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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