you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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