He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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