i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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