Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i out mim tonsoeep
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
