so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
