So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize