I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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