I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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